Pings to Presence: when your kids call a family meeting
Ché Ugwuala’s kids called a family meeting about his always on work culture. We get into setting boundaries, depression, and inpatient care.
The moment Ché realized his always on culture was unsustainable was a total shock to the face. His kids, a nine year old son and six year old twin daughters, called a family meeting to air their grievances. They told him that while his promotions and travel for his fast paced job at Google were great, it was coming at their expense. They just weren't getting enough of him.
That conversation was a tough pill to swallow but a moment of total clarity. He went to his manager, was completely upfront about the mini crisis at home, and was met with total support to take a month off. The reset was helpful, but he realized he was also battling something else: undiagnosed major depression, which kept him from coming back as his full self.
He eventually hit rock bottom and went into inpatient behavioral health care, which he says was the best thing he could have ever done for himself. It was a life changing experience that gave him the space to unpack his feelings, get on medication that worked, and connect with other people who were struggling just like him. He felt reborn.
“We're not saving lives here at all.”
Notes
- His son, 9, and twin daughters, 6, called a family meeting to tell him they were not getting enough of his time.
- After that talk, he took a month off from work with his manager's full support to reset and focus on his family.
- He was diagnosed with major depression and went to inpatient care after hitting rock bottom, which he calls a life changing experience.
- To handle stress, he keeps a repository of kudos emails and past project successes to remind himself of what he can get through.